Bug of the Day: Commuting Into Central London During Rush Hour

Photo by DAVID ILIFF. License: CC-BY-SA 3.0

I've recently started working in Central London, which means I have no choice but to travel in to the depths of Dante's Inferno during rush hour. Uurrrrrgggggggh. I kind of knew doing this was gonna be a bit hectic and tiring, but HOLY CRAP, I have never experienced anything like it. An hour and a quarter of unadulterated misery, twice a day, day in and day out.  How do people - so very, very many people, in fact - do this??!

I now start my mornings with an invigorating sprint to the local train station, ram myself into a train packed to the rafters with puffy-faced office workers  (there's no hope of a seat. Ever. Not even if you get up at 6am), and proceed to take part in a game of uncomfortable Commuter Twister: balanced on one leg, an arm behind my back hanging onto the nearest pole, face squashed against someone's pinstriped arm, I sway along with the sleepy crowd down the tracks to Waterloo.  Spat out into a maelstrom of humanity, faces looming into mine, people striding in every conceivable permutation of a direction, clashing, tutting and huffing, tripping over each others heels, clipping sides with newspapers, umbrellas, bags, ducking, dodging, sidestepping... I arrive at work every day reeling, exhausted and with the knowledge that the same in reverse awaits me at the end of the day sitting on my shoulders, like a wretched crow.

The first day that I did this I arrived home with actual bruises from the journey, having been trodden on by a crocodile of French teenagers near Covent Garden and then smacked into by a woman running headlong for her connection at Waterloo (lady, you cannot run at Waterloo at 6pm, you are literally just beating people up with your front).

In short, Central London at rush hour makes me feel like a sheep - one of a million poor, stupid creatures being herded along, up stairs and through stiles, bumping into each other, clashing hooves and climbing over each other's backs - an angry, angry, trampled sheep.  BAAAAAAAA!!!!

Bug of the Day, oh yes indeedy.  Bug of the Day every single blimmin' weekday stretching into eternity, UGH. Good job I like my new work, that's all I can say!