Bug of the Day: The Lone Magpie

Pic borrowed from chesterfieldpagans.org

As a highly superstitious country bumpkin, it tends to darken my day a shade when I spot a lone magpie (one = sorrow, two = joy, in case you weren't aware). It's even worse if this Bird of Unluck appears when I'm in a crowded urban area, since the usual techniques of protection (doffing my invisible cap in its general direction and crying 'Morning magpie! How's your wife?') are rendered more than a little embarrassing/likely to mark me out as a lunatic.  What if all the other people around don't KNOW about the necessary defense techniques against the sorrow just one magpie on its own is certain to bring??!

Its not exactly a large Bug this one, I know, merely a little greenfly in the grand scheme of things.  But it does make me very uncomfortable when such an event occurs, as it did today.  I was just standing there innocently on a busy train platform when I spotted the dratted thing fluttering around on the other side of the tracks - prompting a good five minutes of teeth-clenching while my right hand twitched at my side, aching to reach up for that non-existent cap.  In the end I had to settle for silently mouthing the required magical phrase and praying that it would piss off.

Begone O Portent of Dooooom!

(Yes, I also try to avoid breaking mirrors, spilling salt and walking over drains/under ladders AND I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK OF ME! Unless you're standing next to me in a public place obvs).